Life As We Know It
by 01shane01
Summary: Ash and Carmen are best friends. Spencer comes along. Ash falls for Spencer, Carmen loves Ash... Spencer goes off the rails...
1. Chapter 1

AN:: Ok.. Hi guys! A new story for you. This is very loosely based on the last few months of my life… and I got inspired :D so review or I wont finish it :P

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"Call me tomorrow, we'll do something special." She shouted as she headed away to her car, her brown hair blowing in the breeze as she put her sunglasses on. She shot me a smile and slid into the brand new Lotus her dad had bought her.

Carmen is my best friend. She has been for the last year, since she moved here. Her mom kicked her out to move in with her new boy toy. Everyone says we are so alike but we can't see it. We only really became friends when I told her that I'm gay. I don't even know why I told her, I guess it just came out.

I turned to walk to my car but was met by a big chested muscular guy.

"Aiden! You have to stop doing that to me!" I shouted and hit him. He hugged me and laughed.

"Yeah, hi Ash." He kissed the top of my head and released me from his death grip. He grabbed my hand and started walking me to my car.

Aiden is a good guy. He is my best friend and I think he is gay too. I mean, he hasn't come out to anyone but come on! He so acts it. We had a thing once, but it didn't last long.

"What do you want Aid, I have to get home." I sighed while I tried to find my keys in my bag.

"Well I just thought you would want to go to Ego tonight? Me and a bunch of the guys are going and wanted you to tag along."

"Tag along? Way to make me feel important Aiden." I shoved him and laughed.

"You know what I mean Ash."

"Yeah I do. I'm in."

"Great, see you there." He shouted as he walked away.

--

When I got home I went straight to my room and deflated on my bed. It's hard trying to keep such a huge secret in high school. Not a lot of people know that I am gay. I have only told the people that need to know. My school is very bigoted. Its not because I care what they think, its just I don't need the hassle right now.

I sighed as exhaustion tore through my body, allowing sleep to take over me quite easily.

I woke up an hour or two later. No particular reason really, I guess my body decided I had had enough sleep. I hate it when I wake up and I feel even more tired than I did when I fell asleep.

But whatever. I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and in to the shower, got sexy and headed out.

--

The club was crazy. Hundreds of sweaty bodies moved as one to the beat that was vibrating through the floor. Waitresses were carrying tiny trays, laden with drinks, in and out of the crowd and Aiden was sat at a huge table in a badly lit corner of the club, people all around him. He waved to me with a big goofy smile before I headed to the bar.

Beer in hand, I started to make my way through the crowd and took a seat at the edge of the booth that Aiden was at.

"You took your time getting here Ash!" he shouted above the beat.

"Yeah I totally crashed when I got home."

"It's ok. There's someone here I want you to meet."

"If it's another hook up Aiden I swear I will kill you."

"Its not, plus she's straight."

Great, he wants me to approve some bimbo he wants to parade around at school.

"Yeah sure, whatever." I sighed and rubbed my head.

He rushed off to the bar and I followed him slowly. I was getting bumped about in the crowd that was moving from the dance floor in the change of song. A hand grabbed my arm and dragged me outside.

"Ash, this is Spencer Carlin. Spencer, this is my best friend in the world, Ashley Davies."

My eyes met hers and it seemed like time had stood still or at least slowed down a considerable amount. I could see Aiden talking out of the corner of my eye but I couldn't hear what he was trying to say. She was stood nodding and smiling politely, all the time looking at me.

Her blond hair blew across her face, blocking my view of her full pink lips. I let my eyes wander down her body briefly. Her legs went for miles but were cut off by her short black skirt. A tiny amount of her stomach was showing where her shirt had lifted up and it looked perfect. It was perfectly tanned and looked perfectly toned. Her boobs seemed to be perfectly in proportion to the rest of her body and her neck looked so smooth and kissable.

"So what do you say Ash?" Aiden asked with a punch to my shoulder. I rubbed the spot and blinked.

"How does what sound?"

"Spencer's family are here visiting, looking to buy a place. I told her we would show her a good time."

"Oh uh, yeah that sounds good." I smiled and hit Aiden in his family jewels. "Don't hit me again." I whispered in his ear while he was keeled over in pain. I laughed as I offered Spencer to take my hand and I led her inside.

--

Aiden joined us shortly after and told us to go dance. I didn't waste a second in taking the new blonde beauty and getting her to shake her ass on the dance floor.

Spencer was hot, sure, but I wasn't in to relationships. I just wanted to mess with her so Aiden couldn't get laid.

We moved in time with the beat and the rest of the people on the floor. Because it was so crowded, we were forced to dance closely.

I put hands on her hip as the beat picked up. She pressed closer to me and her arm around my neck. We stayed like this until the beat slowed again. Her head fell into my neck as my leg moved between her legs subconsciously. She sighed softly in my ear as she let my jeans rub against her.

I bit my lip and moved behind her, quickly putting my arms around her and letting her head rest on my shoulder. I could see that her eyes were closed and I took a second to notice how beautiful she is.

I couldn't control what I was doing. I felt my lips kissing her soft neck. She moaned so quietly I didn't think I heard right, but I felt her throat vibrate at the sound. She moved her hand to the back of my head once I pulled away, begging me to kiss her more.

The music stopped but she stayed where she was. I was too scared to move.

What do I do?

What do I say?

"Hey Spence, want to dance with me?" Aiden said with a shit eating grin on his face. She snapped out of it and took his hand, not saying another word to me.

I walked out of the club and went home.

I don't do relationships, but all I wanted was to have Spencer. Not in like a sexual way, but I want her to be mine in every way.

But she was leaving on Saturday night. It was Friday tomorrow and no doubt Carmen would want to take up my whole weekend. Great.

--

School again. What a drag.

I spent the weekend with Carmen, wondering what Spencer was doing and how she looked, how she smelt and how she felt. Carmen thought there was something wring with me.

The bell rang for break and I headed to my locker to get my books for next period.

"Good morning sunshine!" Carmen said in her high pitched annoyingness. She does it on purpose because she knows I am not a morning person.

"Ugh, what would be so good about this morning?" I asked, my head still in my locker.

"I have someone for you to meet." She sang. "Her name is Spencer Carlin."

I dropped all my books on the floor which was when I noticed the body stood behind my locker door.

Smooth, go on for miles, legs coming out of a short skirt. She shut my locker door so I could see her face.

"Hey." She smiled, the sun shining behind her, making her look like she had a glowing aura.

I choked back a 'Hi'.

I was screwed.


	2. Chapter 2

AN:: I'm back! Sorry, it took longer than I expected to get this to you guys. I promised someone an update before Christmas and here it is. I also promised Spashley Christmas cuteness… but I would be rushing the story if I put that in…

So I am going to write a one shot later today… look out for it :)

**-/--\-**

I am thinking I have a huge problem. I think I like one of my closest friends. Yeah I know, it isn't a problem as such. Well it depends how you look at it.

I hate it. Crushing on a straight person who won't ever be yours sucks. We haven't spoken about that night in the club but she keeps giving me looks. She swears she is straight and has spent most of her time talking about the guys at King High. It drives me crazy. She drives me crazy.

"Earth calling Ash!" she said as she waved her hand in front of my face.

"Piss off Carmen, I was day dreaming."

"Ooh! What or who were you dreaming of!" she said excitedly.

"Hey guys, god I hate that guy!" she slid in to the seat next to me and bumped my shoulder with hers. "Heya hubby, how was your day?"

We are married. Some weird inside joke gone incredibly amazing. I just wish half the things we talked about would actually happen, but being married has definitely brought us closer.

"Oh you know, boring my dear Wifey. I think my chemistry teacher has it in for me." I pouted and she kissed my cheek.

"Awh, I don't think he does. Maybe you should try showing up to class on time."

"And let you get like, raped on your way to your class? I don't think so."

"You are such a guy sometimes Ash." She laughed. Her cheeks dimpled slightly and my heart melted.

"But you love me anyway."

"Ahh, it's sad but true." She sighed and looked away dramatically. I shoved her playfully and went back to eating my lunch. "Ok I have to go. I'll see you guys later. Ash, are you coming over after school?"

"Yeah of course."

"Ok then. See ya." She hugged Carmen then walked away. I watched her go, her hips swaying mesmerizingly from side to side.

"Ash,"

"Mmhm?" I answered as Spencer rounded the corner, causing me to lose her from my sight.

"What's your deal with her?" she asked, the playful tone gone from her voice.

"Nothing."

"There so is Ash. Come on I know you well enough by now. You know she's straight right?"

"I do. Which is why I don't like her. I refuse to like another straight girl." I pouted slightly. She sat looking at me for a few minutes. "Ok," I sighed, "I do like her. I think. I mean, I haven't ever felt like this bout a girl and it's confusing me."

"What do you mean? You have been crushing on girls for ages. You have been sleeping with girls for ages." She said softly.

"Yeah I know. It's just, I _want_ to kiss her. I _want_ to hug her. I just want to be close to her. I want to be there for her. Sex isn't the first thing I think of when I think about her. I think about how pretty she looks and how I wish she was mine."

The bell rang and Carmen said bye and left. My phone rang in my pocket as I walked to class.

"Hey boo."

"Boo?"

"I'm trying our new names for everyone." She said innocently.

"Spence you know that boo means boyfriend or lover or something along those lines right?"

"Well you are my boo you silly husband." She laughed.

"That I am. What's up Spence?"

"Well I have a few things to do before you come over after school. Sadly you can't be there while I do them."

"They fighting again?" Her parents fought all the time and it upset her a lot.

"Yeah they are." She said seriously and sadly.

"Are you sure you don't want me to be there with you. I can stay in your room or something so you have someone there."

"You would do that for me?" she sounded like she was crying and I broke my heart. I heard sobbing coming from an open classroom.

Spencer was sat to a desk, her head in her hands and her gorgeous blonde locks shielding her face. I sat on the desk in front of her. She put her head on my thigh and cried harder.

"Spence, I'll come home with you, and I will even stay the night with you if you want." I ran my hand through her hair as her body continued to shake.

"Thank you Ash. You are really a great friend." She said after a while of crying. "You are going to get killed by your teacher!"

"I vote we skip the afternoon and go to the beach." I offered.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

--

Over the next few weeks, Spencer and I became impossibly close. Her life was slowly destroying itself as her parents destroyed their marriage. I have seen her playing with bottles of pills. It worries me because if things get much worse between her parents, she would take them.

I sighed as I stared at the ceiling. Spencer was led next to me, her breathing deep and steady telling me that she was in a nice peaceful sleep.

I turned over and put my arm over her stomach and my head in her neck. I want to kiss her so badly but I can't. She isn't mine. I want to wrap her up in my arms and tell her I will protect her from whatever life has to throw at her because I love her.

My phone vibrated on Spencer's nightstand. I reluctantly moved away from her to pick it up. Fucking Carmen! What the hell does she want at 1am?

"Yeah?" I answered roughly

"Did I wake you?"

"No but I was about to go to sleep. What's so important that couldn't wait until morning?"

"I just wanted to chat. We never talk anymore." She finished quietly.

"That's not true. We talk at school and everything."

"Yeah but you spend all your free time with Spencer. And even when I finally get you to hang out with me, you are always texting or calling her. I know you love her and all Ash, but really?"

"Are you drunk?"

"No why?"

"Because it sounds to me like you are jealous of Spencer. And you aren't jealous person."

"No it's just I feel like I'm losing you to her."

"Carm, you know you won't lose me. Its just Spence is going through a lot at the moment. If it was you in her position right now I would do exactly the same thing."

"You wouldn't."

"Look Carmen, I'm not giving up my sleep to fight with you about her and where my loyalties lie because the lay equally with both of you."

"I love you Ash."

"Love you too Carm, night."

"No Ash. I mean I really love you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't hate me."

"I won't. I love you carm, but in a different way so nothing will happen between us ok?"

"Ok. Night Ash."


	3. Chapter 3

Spencer problems got real bad, real fast. Her parents only stopped fighting when they were sleeping and now Carmen was going her problems for no reason.

My phone vibrated on my night stand

"Hello?" I answered groggily.

"Ash," her shaky voice came from the other end, "Ash I need you. I did something really stupid."

"What did you do?" I asked as I worked on finding some clothes.

"I took a bunch of pills. I don't know what they were nig no I can't stop shaking and my tummy hurts. Ashy, I don't want to die." She said frantically as my stomach fell to my feet.

"Don't panic Spence, I'll be right there."

"Don't call an ambulance or anything." She pleaded.

"Why not?" I picked up my car keys and headed down the stairs.

"I don't want my parents to know. They will just fight over the bill or whatever." She sobbed.

Against my better judgement, I agreed and told her I would be there soon.

--

When I pulled up to Spencer's house, her parent's cars weren't in her driveway. I let myself in to her house and made my way to her bedroom.

She was led on her floor, shaking and sobbing. I sat next to her and pulled her in to my lap.

"Spence, talk to me." I wiped the hair out of her face and pulled her closer to me.

"Ash?" she breathed.

"Yeah Spence, I'm here." She clung on to the sleeves of my hoodie and shook violently. "You need to drink something ok." she nodded slowly. I kissed her head and whispered to her that I would be back in a second. She whimpered and tried to make my stay with her. I was torn. She needed to drink but I didn't want to leave her.

"I'm so scared Ash."

"I'm not leaving you Spence. I am just going to get you some water." She nodded weakly as I gently moved her off of my lap. I ran out of her room and got as many bottles of water as I could carry as well as a few biscuits.

The night was rough. She fell asleep at about 5am. I was glad it was a Friday night. I couldn't cope with school in the morning. I didn't sleep. I couldn't. I was too worried that something would happen while I was sleeping. So I watched her.

"Ashy?" she said sleepily.

"Shh, I'm here Spence, go back to sleep." I said as I brushed hair out of her face and pulled the covers up around her again.

"I can't sleep. Your brain is too loud." She pouted.

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Just stuff Spence, don't worry about it." I hugged her from behind and rested my head on her shoulder as she slowly drifted back to sleep.

--

The bell rang to let us out to lunch and I headed to our usual table where I found Spencer, Chelsea, Clay, and Madison.

"What's up guys?" I said as I sat down next to Spencer.

"Oh you know the usual." Spencer mumbled through her sandwich.

"Are you ok?" I said quietly so the rest of the group didn't hear.

"Yeah, I'm alright. My stomach hurts and I want to puke." She pouted at me.

She needed to keep eating and the sandwich she had was mine. I had to force her to take it.

"Well that will teach you then wont it" I said sarcastically as I poked her ribs.

She glared at me and I laughed. She was so cute and her hair smelt so good, I rested my head on her shoulder just to get closer to her. She rubbed up and down my thigh fondly and let her hand linger before she went to move it off. I quickly took that hand and joined it with mine under the table.

I could feel her looking at me. I fucked up by holding her hand. I couldn't resist. But if I quickly snatch my hand away she will think that I am in to her. So I try to keep my breathing steady as she tries to read me.

"You guys, we need a party!" Madison announced.

"No parties for me guys, my workload this year is ridiculous." Chelsea said with a sigh and Clay agreed with her.

"Yeah Maddie, a party isn't such a great idea for me either." I said. "I have too much to do. Unless you want to go to a party" I finished quietly.

"That's the last thing I want to do" she said then announced that she wasn't going either.

Madison huffed before she left the table. She has been my friend for the last 5 years but she is a little controlling at times.

Carmen approached us with someone tailing her.

"Hey guys, this is Kelly, she's new here today and she's going to be hanging out with us from now on."

Everyone that was left said hi and the two got settled at the table. Carmen kept shooting Spencer and I weird looks and it was really starting to piss me off.

I stood up to leave and felt Spencer grab my hand.

"Where are you going?" she asked, I could swear that desperation was in her voice.

"I just need to get away, want to come with?" she nodded frantically, gathered her things and left with me.

"What's been going on with you and Carmen? She has been giving me the stink eye too and its bugging me."

"I think Carmen is jealous of us because she told me the other night that she was in love with me and I guess we have just drifted." I sighed as we got to my car.

"So why did you come to my rescue the other night?"

"Because I love you Spence, you are my best friend." She looked at me for a moment.

"Yeah I love you too Ash. Thanks for everything."

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**AN**:: Ok, I hope you guys enjoyed it. It isn't over yet.

So have fun and review!


	4. Chapter 4

"Ashley? Is that you?" my mom called from the kitchen as I got home later that afternoon.

"Yeah mom, what's up?"

"Where were you?" she asked, worry covering her face and I was trying to figure out why. Then it snapped. I had just left in the middle of the night and I didn't leave a note or anything! I mentally smacked myself before I answered her.

"Oh, I'm sorry mom, Spence needed me last night so I went to see her." Spencer called me again in the middle of the night, just wanting me to come and see her because she was lonely. Of course I didn't hesitate to spend the extra time with her.

"And you spent all night there?"

"Yeah? So?"

"I don't want you to spend too much time with Spencer." She spat her name like it was covered in some deadly disease.

"What! Why?" I screamed. I felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest and then run over by a huge truck.

"Because I think she is a bad influence on you Ashley. I am only trying to look out for you."

"How the hell is she a bad influence on me? Since I've known her I have done better in school and I haven't skipped once."

"You have terrible language and a terrible attitude. I don't believe that your grades are anything to do with that girl. I think that is all down to Carmen." She said evenly. Mum worships the ground Carmen walks on and it bugs me. Of course, she doesn't know what has happened in the last few weeks with us, and she never will, but still.

"No mom, it has nothing to do with Carmen." I spat her name with the same disgust my mother did a few moments earlier.

"Has she made you fall out with Carmen, Ashley? See? That girl is more trouble then she is worth."

"Mom! Just butt out about things that you know nothing about."

"Well maybe I would understand if you spoke to me like you used to. Since Spencer came along, you don't talk to me." She scowled. Christine had always been childish.

"Mother, just, ugh. Just stop ok." I sighed before I walked upstairs, straight to my bedroom. I slammed the door behind me and threw myself on my bed. I pulled out my cell phone, ready to call someone, the one person I would call in a situation like this… but I can't. We don't talk anymore. We just look at each other in the hallways. I give her looks of pity, and her eyes plead with me to feel the way she does for me. But I can't.

I love Spencer.

I am in love with Spencer. And no one, not Christine nor Carmen are going to stop me being there for her.

Carmen and I were trying desperately to fix our friendship that had been broken by her small confession. I felt mean by letting out friendship fall apart. What had she done wrong? We cannot control what our hearts feel.

If we could, I wouldn't be desperately longing for someone who won't ever be mine.

I think things would have been fine between Carmen and I if it hadn't have been for Kelly. She was constantly telling Carmen and me that we were together and I couldn't deal.

With the stress of Spencer taking a load of drugs and my parents being totally against my friendship with her, I was a wreck.

So I have a go at Kelly which causes Carmen to get on edge. Carmen then questions me about why I get so uptight even though she knows the answer. So Carmen keeps Kelly away from Spencer and I so me and Carmen never get the chance to talk.

It is confusing, yes.

I never wanted my life to be like this!

"Carmen we need to talk." I said quietly as I fell in to step beside her.

"Sure, what about."

"Everything."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Really? I kind of think there is. See, a few months ago I could come to you with anything and we were inseparable. Now you blank me all the time and you chose Kelly over me."

"She has no one, you have Spencer. You broke my heart Ash. Stop acting like you are the innocent one." She said bitterly as she walked in to her classroom.

I kicked a locker in frustration but ended up on the floor, clutching at my toes in plain.

"Oh my god that fucking argh!" I growled

"Ash, are you ok?" Spencer crouched beside me and my pain was gone. Its funny how that works isn't it?

"Yeah, I just stubbed my toe, I'm ok now though."

"Aww, does my hubby need me to kiss it better for her?" she said in a baby voice.

"Well now you come to mention it, I still do have a little bit of pain right here," I pointed to my lip. "See I bit my lip and it hurts a lot."

She kissed my cheek then offered me her hand to stand up. I took it and let her heave me back to my feet while I still savoured the moment that her lips lingered just a second too long.

"So I missed you this morning. Where were you?"

"Oh, I needed to talk to Carmen. It was a total waste of time. She tried to blame us drifting, all on me. None of us have told them to stop having lunch with us and yet, they do."

"Aww, it's hard. But she will come round some day and get over you. Just you wait and see." She smiled and I couldn't help but smile back. I wanted more than anything right now to just take her in my arms and kiss her until a decision had to be made between kissing Spencer, and living. I know which one I would pick.

"You always cheer me up Spence, did you know that?" I said as I turned her to face me. She hung her head slightly

"Even with all the crap that I have dragged you in to?"

"I don't mind Spencer. You are my best friend."

"That's sweet." She cooed.

"Shh!" we both laughed. "I am taking you out at the weekend."

"Where did you have in mind my dear?" she said in a really bad fake British accent.

"Dinner then that new club that opened up the other week."

"That sounds very much like a date." She said in a flirtatious yet sarcastic voice so I went along with it.

"Well shouldn't a husband take her wife out on a date every now and again?" I wrapped my arm around her waist and raised my eyebrow.

"Of course she should." She blushed. Spencer is as straight as they come but I know how to get her all flustered, and I haven't even started yet.

"Then it's settled, I'll pick you up on Saturday at 7." I knew it wasn't a date but still, Saturday should be interesting.

**---**

**AN:: **Sorry for the wait guys…

I took a pet to be put down and I just haven't felt like writing.

But I got inspired tonight so I thought I would give you guys something.

I know it's not long enough… but I think it was an ok place to leave that.

Reviews are love :D


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday came quicker than I had expected and I was nervous. She had told me many times during the week that it wasn't a date, we were going out as friends. I knew that. I am hoping she was trying to tell herself that.

Feeling confident in my tight jeans and tight black tank, I headed out the door to pick up Spencer, taking deep breaths as I went.

I pulled up to her house and honked my horn. She came rushing out of the door wearing jeans and a light blue hoodie. Her hair was down and flowing behind her as she made her way to my car.

"Hey Sexy!" she shouted as she slid in to the car. I laughed and said hi and she blushed which made me laugh even harder. "What are you laughing at?"

"You are blushing." I pointed to her cheek.

She quickly covered her cheeks and blushed even more. I laughed as I turned the key and drove off.

--

We had dinner and got ourselves settled in the club, watching the dancers move their bodies up and down as one to the beat that was blasting through the speakers.

"Want to go dance?" she suggested, her hand running down my arm to entwine her fingers with mine. Her face was mere millimetres from my ear and her breath sent shivers through my entire body.

"Let's go."

I pulled her away from the bar and pulled her close to me on the floor. The beat was an energetic one so we were just jumping up and down with everyone else. We bumped in to each other and burst in to a fit of laughter. Eventually the song ended and I sighed when I heard the next song come on.

A low seductive beat made its way through the speakers. Groups of friends moved off the floor and couples stayed and got closer together.

"I guess we should go sit." she said with her head down slightly.

"Well I mean we don't have to. I mean if you still want to dance we can." I said.

She grinned and pulled me in to her. I laughed and started dancing against her as the beat got even sexier.

Her arms found their way around my neck, keeping me firmly in place in front of her. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I settled for putting my hands on her waist but as the beat picked up she moved my hands to her hips the rested her head softly in my neck. Being this intimate with her tuned my brain to mush but I could have sworn I heard her sigh and felt her relax.

I spun her round so I was stood behind her. She leaned back in to me as I rested my head on her shoulder.

She was intoxicating. The smell of her perfume and just everything Spencer made me want to kiss her so badly. Well, either kiss her or have my way with her right then and there. But I can't. It took everything I had not to act on what I felt.

We stayed dancing like that for a while, every now and again one of her hands threaded itself into my hair to pull my head back to her shoulder or close to her neck. At one point my lips were touching her neck and I kissed the skin there softly.

She tuned around as the beat slowed. I placed my leg between hers and pulled her in to me as we moved our bodies to the beat that possessed us. She rested her head against mine as her hands found my hips and I rested my arms around her shoulders.

I moved towards her slightly, the passion in her eyes and the feeling of her grinding against my leg was too much for me to handle. She seemed to know what I was doing and it even seemed as if she moved forwards a little.

When I captured her lips in mine, it was magic. I felt sparks fly through my body. She was frozen for a second but then started moving her lips with mine. I ran my tongue over her bottom lip, tasting the cherry flavour of her chap stick.

She allowed me entrance to her mouth so I explored slowly, scared that she would realise what she was doing and stop. She shocked me by trying to force her way in to my mouth. I let her obviously, all the time still moving to the beat.

We didn't realise that we had a crowd until we were forced to pull apart for air. As my senses came back to me, I realised that even the music had stopped and the DJ was staring at us. Everyone was staring at us.

I looked at Spencer who was a bright shade of red. She grabbed my hand and led me outside, slamming me against the wall out there.

"What was that?" she said as she paced in front of me, my eyes glued to her body. I was too turned on from that dance to not look at her. She stopped right in front of me and when she saw I was staring, she smirked. She stood close to me, a hand either side of my head, lips touching my ear.

"You enjoyed yourself in there didn't you?" she said in a low, seductive tone. I nodded slowly and licked my lips. She cleared her throat and stepped back, offering me her hand. "Come on. Take me home hubby."

And just like that it was all a joke again.

--

We didn't talk bout what happened but she was a lot more flirtatious. It was so annoying. We shared such an amazing time at the club. No one could say it wasn't amazing and she couldn't say it was my fault. I mean, she encouraged me. She kissed me back.

"Carmen, we need to talk." I said as I approached her. I hated having my friendship with her broken but sometimes I was glad of it.

"What about Ashley?" she asked coldly.

"Oh, hello Ashley." Kelly said as she appeared beside Carmen. Kelly's hand went straight for Carmen's and intertwined them.

"Hey Kelly." I turned my attention back to Carmen and was about to continue when I saw Spencer walk by. She brushed past me on purpose, quickly entwining our fingers before she let go and carried on walking down the hall. "You know what, it doesn't matter. See you later."

Finding Spencer at her locker, I went up behind her, rested my head on her shoulder and wrapped my arms around her stomach.

"Good morrow." I said happily.

"Is that Shakespeare I hear Ash? A little early for that don't you think?"

"A little. But getting such a killer hug this early in the morning is probably the best way to start a day."

She laughed and turned around so I was holding her and I must say, she felt great in my arms.

"I could think of a few better ways to start a day." She smiled, poked my nose and started walking down the hall.

"Was that an offer?"

"We are married remember."

"So?"

"So, married people don't have sex."

"They do, but its more like reward sex."

"And what have you don't that is good enough for me to have sex with you?"

I faked hurt. "Are you saying I'm not good enough for you? Simply being me should be enough!" she laughed and shook her head at my ability to turn anything against her. She leaned on the doorframe to her class and I leaned in front of her on the other side of the door. "We need to talk about the other night Spence." I said seriously. We had to talk about it some time.

"What is there to talk about?" She asked, looking confused.

"I don't know." I sighed and shook my head slowly.

"If it will make you feel better, we'll talk tonight, ok?" I nodded. "I'll see you after class." She stepped forwards and kissed me softly on my cheek before she disappeared in to the classroom.

* * *

**AN:: **Ok this one was fun to write…

But since I only got 4 reviews last time it's a little disheartening.

So this might be the last story I write.

Galmil, you better hurry up and post :P


	6. Chapter 6

The silence between us was unbearable. I think she knew we needed to talk about something. I think she knew exactly what we needed to talk about but she just wanted to ignore it. How are we supposed to explain how I kissed her, my straight best friend and she kissed me back?

"Spence,"

"Look Ashley," I cringed at the use of my full name. "We kissed. It was amazing, sure, but I'm not gay."

"I never said you were." She sighed and took a seat.

She let out a sigh, moving uncomfortably in her seat. "I'm scared. I feel different around you. Your friends with the real me, I don't have to be someone else to make you happy, I can just be me. I love that, and you're such an amazing friend. But I'm scared about this feeling I have for you. I haven't felt this way with anyone. You have to understand Ash that I have been brought up to believe that having feelings for another girl is a sin. It's why I can't be with you as any more than a friend."

I was in shock, "So, you're scared. That's what you're saying, right? Why is it so hard to listen to how you feel?" It came out as more of a statement, because I was afraid to hear her answer.

Spencer shook her head, a smirk on her lips. She let her eyes wander to the world outside the car. "With the way I have been brought up Ashley, it is."

So what had been going on this entire time? What had our friendship meant during this period of time? Especially if she knew she wasn't or couldn't do anything.

"So that kiss in the club meant,"

"Everything." She cut me off and held eye contact.

Spencer's brother, Glen came strolling into the kitchen just as I was about to answer her, and I mentally punched him in the face. I just want to fit the puzzle pieces together, and figure out what's going on.

"Glen, what the hell do you want?" Spencer looked aggravated, but I knew she was glad for the brief interruption. I would have enjoyed it too if I could figure out what all of this meant.

"Just a chat. Do you mind Ash?" he looked at me and I got the impression he wanted me to leave by the way his eyes tried to burn holes in my head.

"Yeah sure, I was just leaving anyway."

"Ash, don't go." She grabbed my wrist to try and stop me gathering my things.

"No, I think it would be best. Plus, I think Glenn wants to talk to you alone." I smiled softly and she smiled back only, the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Glenn can wait, at least let me drive you home."

"If you want to." I said with a shrug and started walking out of her house.

-

We once again succumbed to silence. Every now and again we would steal glances of each other, but look away before we thought the other noticed. I was still trying to piece these last few days together and figure out what was going on in her head. I wanted to understand what she was feeling, what she was thinking, when it all went wrong…

"Ash," she sighed, bringing me from my thoughts. "I get that you are upset but you can't just ignore me."

I bit my lip briefly before answering her. "I'm not upset and I'm not ignoring you. I'm just trying to figure this all out. But how can you ignore how you feel?"

"I am not ignoring it."

I threw my arms up in frustration, "Then what the hell is this, Spencer? You are ignoring it. You just told me two different things back there- you admitted to having feelings for me, but now you're scared because you think your parents won't accept it."

The car came to a slow stop outside of my house. Spencer put it in park, turning the engine off. She didn't turn to talk to me, just kept staring in front of her.

Her voice was almost a whisper, "I don't know what I feel, Ash."

"I can't hang around while you figure it out Spence. I don't want to be your little experiment." I sighed as I turned my attention to the cat that was playing with the leaves from the hedge outside my house.

"I know," her voice was still a whisper, "I don't want to hurt you."

I felt a light, cool pressure turning my face towards her. I felt her warm breath on my lips and slowly licked them. I opened my eyes to see the deepest blue I have ever seen staring in to my soul.

She connected her lips with mine in pure bliss. Our tongues fought for dominance but I let her win because after all, what's the point? She has me whether I like it or not. When she pulled away, her face was still only inches away from my own.

"Just give me some time, Ash."

I grabbed a loose strand of Spencer's hair, and put it behind her ear. Her hand was still on my cheek, and I grabbed it with my hand and moved it away. I didn't need her to be toying with my emotions by doing stuff like this, but I didn't let go of her hand. It sat between us, thumbs running over knuckles and small squeezes of comfort were shared.

"You know I'll wait, but I can't put my life on hold for you forever Spence."

She bit her lip, and looked around for some answer or flicker of inspiration before turning to me, "Can you at least promise me we'll be friends in the end."

"We'll do the best we can." It was simple as that. I couldn't promise something that I knew might not be able to work out after all this drama blows over.

Spencer gave me a questioning look, "What's that supposed to mean?"

I ran a hand through my hair, pushing it out of my face, "Well... I mean, look at what happened between Carmen and I."

She nodded in silence

"You better get back to Glenn." I smiled sadly and squeezed her hand once more. She went to kiss me again but I pulled away. "I can't Spencer, until you are sure."

"What if I am sure right now? What if, in the time we have been sitting here, I have made my decision?" she tested with a raised eyebrow.

"But you haven't Spence. I'll see you tomorrow." I got out of her car and headed towards my house.

I guess what that guy said in that song was right.

What ever will be will be, the futures not ours to see.

**AN:: ok so I REALLY appreciated the reviews… if I didn't reply then I'm really sorry but I think I replied to all of them…**

**Uh… sorry I didn't get this up a few days ago my internet broke..**

**Last thing, props to the user madsiclepop for helping me write this :D**

**Go check her out**


	7. Chapter 7

"So I was talking to Toby today in Health." Spencer announced as she fell in to step beside me. I rolled my eyes.

"So?"

"So, he wants to take me out this weekend." She said nervously.

"So? If you want to go then go Spencer, I'm not going to stop you."

"Oh, right ok." I got to my locker and didn't say anything to her. She leaned against the other lockers. "Well, do you mind me going out with him?"

"If it's what you really want Spence, go ahead." I said plainly.

"Ok. Well I guess I will just go and see him." She trailed off quietly before she sighed and walked away.

I closed my locker and banged my head against it.

"Don't do that Ash, you need those precious brain cells." Carmen said from behind me.

"What do you want Carmen, I'm busy."

"You wanted to talk the other day?"

"Yeah but it doesn't matter anymore. Are you and Kelly together now?" I tried to make conversation with her. Things have been too awkward.

"No. I told her what went on with us and she thinks that it will make you jealous."

"Yeah, no offence but it really doesn't." I said and ran my hand through my hair.

"What's wrong, you are even more blunt than usual." She laughed.

"Just a lot going on and Spencer is driving me crazy." I sighed. All I seem to be doing now is sighing.

"Crazy how?"

I looked at her for a moment before I said, "Oh you know, just being Spencer." Her eyes went from sparkling to dull. I felt bad but I couldn't care less right now. "Look, I have to go and take care of some shit so I'll see you around."

I walked off down the hall and pulled out my phone.

**So maybe I do care if you go out with him, but I can't really stop you and demand that you are with me. A ox**

I walked in to the music room and got a guitar out of the cupboard. The teacher is a family friend so I get access to the instruments.

I started strumming a few bars to Demi Lovatos, Until You're Mine. I was just about to enter in to the chorus when my phone vibrated.

**You can. All I want is for you to fight for me. S ox**

**I don't want to force you to make any decision. Maybe going out with him will help you make one. A ox**

My emotions getting the best of me, I put the words to the music, starting out quietly.

_My state of mind_

_Has finally got the best of me_

_I need you next to me_

_I'll try to find _

_A way that I can get to you_

_Just wanna get to you_

_The world I see is perfect now_

_You're all around_

_With you I can breathe_

I strummed the guitar more aggressively.

_Until you're mine I have to find_

_A way to fill this hole inside_

_I've got to fight_

_Without you here by my side_

I turned around and stopped dead when I saw Spencer standing in the doorway.

"Hi."

"Why are you pushing me towards him?" she asked with a confused look on her face.

"I'm not. I just want you to be sure before you make a decision. I don't want to get hurt." I sighed.

"I don't want to hurt you." She said as she walked towards me. I set the guitar down on a table.

"I know, I just want you to be sure. I think going out with a guy might help you some how."

"And what if I have made up my mind but I'm too scared."

"You have to decide if you want to live being unhappy or really embrace what makes you happy. If your family weren't catholic, who would you pick?" I asked simply.

"You."

The bell went and I could have killed someone. I put the guitar away quickly but she was gone before I could say something back to her. I think she knows what I was going to say, but like she said, she's too scared.

I headed towards Maths and took a seat in the back of the room. This seems like a bad day to learn.

**AN:: so I don't think I will be working on this one until I have don't the one shot with Galmil and got the story I am writing with madsiclepop started… look out for it.**


	8. Halo by Beyonce

It's been a week since Spencer and I talked in the music room. I didn't think it was possible but we got even closer in that time.

There is a thin line between being best friends with someone and actually being with them. Spencer and I have crossed that line many times.

"Hey you!" she said quietly as I sat on the table in front of her at dinner.

"Hey yourself." I smiled as she grinned. She didn't go out with Tony in the end. I am really pleased about that.

"I was thinking," she sighed as she put her head on her hand.

"Careful Spence, that could be dangerous." She looked shocked and I laughed.

"What are you implying?" she shoved me as I continued to laugh. "Screw you Davies, forget about it." She did some gesture with her hand that caused it to rest on my thigh. I unconsciously sucked in breath and she smirked at me. "I was thinking we could catch a movie some time this week. What do you think?"

Her hand had moved up my thigh, seemingly innocently. But with our recent history, nothing was innocent.

I leaned in to her and whispered, "I can't fucking think."

She giggled and moved her hand. I missed the contact but at the same time I was glad.

"So? Movies? What do you think?"

"Yeah sure. Wednesday, I'll pick you up at 6." I winked and walked off.

**

Standing in line for tickets is probably the most intense experience in life. Well maybe not, but standing in line with Spencer brushing up against me all the time, was too intense. I wanted to hold her hand or put my arm around her waist but thought that would be too much.

We stepped up to the ticket booth and Spencer asked for the tickets. I slapped some money on the counter before she could even get hers out. She looked at me and tried to give it back to me.

"Ash, no, I asked you to come with me."

"Well tough, I'm paying. Get used to it." I stuck my tongue out at her and she licked her lips slowly. I swallowed hard and tore my attention away from Spencer to the woman trying to hand me my change.

Her hand slipped in to mine as we were heading over to the concessions counter. She squeezed softly each time she intertwined our fingers. She ordered large popcorn and a large drink and I slapped money down once more.

"Ashley!"

"Spencer!" I said dramatically and laughed at Spencer as I got handed my change. I grabbed the drink and she grabbed the popcorn, our hands still joined as we walked towards our screen.

We took our seats as the lights dimmed. Her hand still held mine as if she was scared to let go.

She didn't let go the whole time we were in the cinema and my fingers were starting to go numb.

"So what did you think to the movie?" she asked as we got to my car.

"Oh you know, pretty average." I shrugged and pulled out of my parking space.

"Yeah me too." She went quiet for a moment. Spencer was usually confident and always had something to say. But she never has to pretend around me. If she wants to be quiet, who am I to question it? "I wasn't really concentrating on the movie." She said quietly as she looked out the window.

"Me either." I admitted as I pulled away from the traffic lights. After a short, comfortable silence, I said, "Do you want a ride to school tomorrow?"

"No, its ok. I was going to go for a run tomorrow morning before school. I don't want to make you late as well."

"Spence, when am I ever on time? Plus, I was thinking of running in the morning anyway."

"Cool, do you want to meet in the park or something?"

I pulled up to her house and turned the car off. "Yeah that sounds good." I nodded slowly and she smiled shyly.

--

I woke up late and quietly cursed myself as I jumped in the shower. After quickly washing my hair, then my body, I threw on some clothes and ran towards the park.

As if someone was watching me, the sky opened as I got to the centre of the park and I was quickly soaked through. Luckily, I love the rain so it didn't bother me too much however, the grunt that came from the person that had crept up behind me would imply that she didn't like this freak storm like I did.

"The weather man said nothing about this." She grumbled as I laughed at her stood with her arms folded across her chest and wet hair. She looked beautiful.

"Some how I think you will live Spence. A little water never hurt anyone." The thunder rolled in the distance and if looks could kill I swear I would be dead right now. "Thunder never hurt anyone either Spencer." she rolled her eyes and started to jog away from me.

I caught up with her and over took her, laughing and sticking my tongue out as I went. She glared at me and tried to do her best to pass me again but each time she got close, I sprinted ahead of her. What can I say, I like to run, a lot.

We got to the steepest hill and I heard her groan behind me.

"Come on Spence, suck it up!" I slowed a little to run beside her.

"I hate you." She groaned and I laughed.

She gave up and started walking up the hill. I turned around and ran backwards. When she stopped, I stopped.

"Come on Spence, don't be such a pussy!" I shouted at her.

"I can't do this anymore Ash." she said as she shook her head and looked at the floor.

"Come on. There's only a little more slope left then its all downhill." I started walking back down the hill to where she was stood.

"No Ash, I mean I can't do this anymore." She pointed between us.

"I'm confused."

"I can't be with you Ashley and not be with you." She said as she looked in to my eyes. Because I was stood up the hill, I was a little taller than her. I tucked some hair behind her ear and grabbed one of her cheeks, my other hand in my pocket.

"Good." I said softly as I connected her lips with mine. I felt her smile in to the kiss so I deepened it by pushing my tongue in to her mouth and exploring. Her hands grabbed my hips and pulled me in to her.

We stayed kissing for a short while, the rain still pouring down on us.

"We should get to school." She said sadly.

"No, we will skip today. I want to spend the day making out with my girlfriend." I said plainly. She smiled widely like I knew she would.

"I'm your girlfriend?" she asked as she played with the neckline of my tank top.

"You are." I held out my hand for her and we walked back to my house and spent the rest of the day making out in my room, not going any further than that.

**AN:: So! Here it is… so I am going to be working on a one/two shot with Galmil… and then a short with Madsiclepop… go check out their stories and look out for ours.**

**This story isn't over but I'm taking a break from it.**

**Reviews are love people! I'm not feeling the love**


	9. Chapter 9

"I should probably let you get to class." I said sadly as I pulled away from her neck.

"Awh, do you have to?" she pouted and pulled my hips in to her. I am still getting used to being so close to her, knowing that she wants me back.

"I am not going to be the reason you fail in all your classes. Your family are going to hate me enough as it is."

"They don't have to know." She whispered in my ear before she kissed down my neck.

"Spence, I don't want to stay your little secret." I pulled away far enough that I could see into her eyes.

She sighed. "I know. It's just; I'm not ready to tell them, or anyone, yet."

"I get that Spence, I really do."

"Lets not talk about this now. I'm skipping this period." She worked on my neck again and shivers went down my spine.

I brought her lips back to mine and kissed her deeply. She moaned softly as her hands found the bare skin of my stomach.

"Spence, I want you." I growled and she sighed my name. "You smell so good all the time and you taste so great." I kissed her until I went dizzy. Her hands ran all over my stomach, every now and again they would cup my breasts.

"God Ashley!" she pushed me against the opposite wall of this small, clustered supply closet, lifting me on to her hips in the process.

"Spencer," her hands grabbed at my ass.

"Not here though Ash." she breathed. I didn't want her here. I just wanted her. It drove me crazy that she wanted me as well.

I am going to make it special for her. Show her that I can treat her better than anyone else.

I know we have only been together for less than three weeks, but we are already best friends and we already trust each other totally.

"That's fine. Some other time." She gave me a look of pity but kissed me some more. She kept on kissing me until the bell rang for next class. "We really should get to class."

"Yeah I guess."

--

I came out of the music room and looked around the quad. I saw my blonde haired beauty slumped at a table, picking at her sandwich. She looked sad and it made me sad. The people around her were having a great time, laughing and joking with each other while they threw various parts of their lunch at each other.

I took out my phone and started typing.

**To the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on, I just thought I would say that I love you. Love, the luckiest girl in the world. OX**

I sent it and watched her pull out her phone. At first she looked at her phone in disbelief and I felt like I had made a mistake in telling her that I love her, but then she smiled the widest smile I have ever seen and I knew I had made her day.

I went and slid on to the bench beside her, our thighs touching and our hands entwining immediately.

She turned and whispered, "I love you too," before kissing my cheek softly.

"My mom goes out of town this weekend. Let me show you how much I love you." I said quietly and I felt her shiver.

"That sounds amazing Ash. I can't wait." I laughed. "No really Ash, I can't wait."

"Well my mom never leaves the house and I don't want to be hushed and stuff."

"Well cant we just,"

"I want to do something special for you Spencer. I have it all planned out. But I can come and spend some time at yours if you want, during this week." I said softly, getting even closer to her.

"That sounds great." She smiled at me and slowly finished her sandwich. "I am going to the movies with Tony tonight." She said cautiously.

"Have fun." I tried to say nonchalantly but I don't think it worked. She gave me a questioning look. "What? I can't stop you having friends. Go have fun."

"You don't mind that I am going out with a guy?"

"I do, I hate that you are going out with him on your own." There was a short silence for a moment. "But whatever, do what you want. I might be your girlfriend but I don't control you."

"I wouldn't mind if you did." She said in a low tone that sent an ache through my body.

"Spencer," she buried her head in my neck. To everyone else, it looked like an innocent hug but her tongue and lips were working magic on the crook of my neck. "Your tongue is going to kill me one of these days Spence."

"You are jealous of Tony aren't you?" she whispered between kisses.

"No." I said slowly. She stood up and grabbed my hand, pulling me in to the bathroom, in to a cubical and slammed me up against the wall.

"You know I am all yours right?" she asked as her hands went straight to my ass and her lips assaulted mine.

"Come Friday night, you will be all mine." I grumbled as she kissed around the line of my shirt, moaning softly as she did.

"God Ash," she stopped and just pressed against me.

Some giggling girls entered the bathroom and they sounded as if they were applying make up and fixing their hair. I heard Kelly's dulcet tones and thought about going out there and tearing her head off. Carmen voice became clear and I grabbed Spencer's hand.

"Ash,"

"Come on Spencer, we aren't hiding out in here." I unlocked the door and walked out, my head held high and proud of the woman that was on the end of my arm.

"Look what the cat dragged out." Kelly spat and I just rolled my eyes and kept walking towards the door. Carmen stood across the door and blocked our path.

I sighed and she smirked. I saw Kelly shove Spencer against the wall out of the corner of my eye and I tried to get to her but Carmen held me back. I struggled against her grasp as I watched Kelly lick Spencer's neck and collar bone. She slowly came back up to her face and stole a kiss from her lips.

Spencer did her best to resist her but there wasn't really much she could do. I wanted to kill them. Why were they doing this? What had we ever done to them?

"Get away from me you whore!" Spencer shouted and shoved Kelly hard off of her. Kelly responded by punching Spencer, making her nose bleed and her eyes to water. Kelly hit her in the stomach and once again around her face for good measure and walked away laughing, dragging Carmen with her.

Carmen's look as they went was one of shock and sadness. I don't think she meant it to go that far.

I rushed over to Spencer to see to her now bleeding cheek and nose.

"Spence, are you ok?"

"Fuck Ash, that hurts." She flinched as I touched her cheek lightly.

"Come on, let's get you to the nurse's office."

**AN! Cheers for the few reviews that I got. I don't know where to take this next so I think I am going to tie up all the loose ends and then just end it.. so about 3 chapters left :D**

**EVERYONE!!! Go and check out Galmils stories and add her to your watch, she will be posting a story written by both of us pretty soon :D**


	10. Chapter 10

I drove Spencer home after school. The school nurse had given her ice for her cheek and nose and assured us that her nose wasn't broken. I was so angry at Carmen for allowing Kelly to do that. I wanted to rip Kelly's face off and stand on it.

"Do you want me to come in with you or come back later?" I asked her as I pulled up to her house.

"I want you to come in now." She smiled but her face quickly fell when she heard her front door open and her mom's frantic voice coming behind her.

"Spencer! My little baby! I just got off the phone with your school. Are you ok?" Paula gushed as she opened my car door and dragged her daughter out on to the grass.

I slowly got out the car, locked it and joined them on the lawn.

"YOU!" she stopped fussing over Spencer and shoved me against my car, shouting all the time and not caring that she had just put a scratch in my new paintjob. "This is your fault! You and that Carmen girl!" she spat.

"Mrs C, I swear this is none of my fault. Carmen and I aren't even friends anymore."

"That gave her more of a motive to hurt Spencer!" she shook me a little before Spencer appeared next to her mom, shouting at her to let me go.

"It wasn't her fault mom. I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Carmen and Kelly were fighting and I walked in to the middle of it. Stop stressing I'm fine."

Paula huffed at me before she turned and went back in to the house.

"I think it might be best if I just go home." I said as I unlocked my car.

"Please don't." she pouted and started playing with my hair.

"No, I think I should. I'll see you tomorrow Spencer." I kissed her quickly on the cheek before I got in my car and drove off.

--

**Spencer's POV**

I winced as I tried to apply foundation to the bruises from yesterday. I had two large purple bruises around my eye and over my nose. Not sexy in my opinion. I think I will be able to make it work though.

With my foundation applied and my oversized sunglasses on, I stepped outside my front door and was greeted with a whole load of nothing but trees and the sound of birds.

She didn't offer to pick me up today and that sent a horrible feeling to the pit of my stomach. I guess I should give her space right? I mean, that's obviously what she wants.

Or maybe it just slipped her mind.

But it wouldn't, I'm her girlfriend for god sake!

I caught up with Ashley at her locker the next morning.

"Hey you." I said quietly in her ear from behind her. She relaxed in to me as I wrapped my arms around her. "I missed you this morning." I kissed her neck and she groaned.

"I didn't think you wanted the school to know about us." She spluttered.

"I guess." I pulled away from her and leaned against a locker next to hers. "So?"

"So what?"

"So where were you this morning?"

"Oh uh, I had a few things to take care of." She shut her locker and walked away without saying another word. I caught up with her and linked our arms.

"Well what are you doing at lunch because I was thinking that we could go off campus and drive to make out point and you know, make out." I said with a pout which I know she can't resist.

She smirked before she said, "I'd love to but I already promised Aiden that I would help him with something. Sorry." She walked in to her classroom without even giving me a hug. I sighed in defeat. What's up with her today?

The rest of the day was the same and by the end of the day I wanted to hit a wall.

**Do you want me to come over tonight? ox S**

I slid in to my car and turned the key.

**Maybe later, I have some stuff to do tonight. A**

**Fine. S **

I stormed towards the exit of the parking lot and caught a glimpse of Ashley stalking to her car. I pulled in to the space beside hers.

"Hey Spence, what's up?" she asked in a dull sort of tone.

"What the hell has been up with you today?" I said as I slammed my car door, "It's like you just totally want to ignore our relationship." I said quietly as I stood in to her.

"God, no Spence. Look, can we go back to my place and we will talk about this."

I sighed and got in my car, making my way to Ashley's house.

**Ashley's POV**

When I got home, she was already waiting for me, her arms were folded across her chest and her foot was tapping. She looked at me expectantly and I motioned for her to come inside. We silently entered my house, walked up the stairs and in to my bedroom.

My mom wasn't home tonight because of some last minute thing.

"If you don't want to be with me, just tell me Ash." she said, tears filling her eyes. I felt like scum. I had ignored my girlfriend all day and pushed her away because I didn't want her to get hurt anymore, but in doing that, she got hurt even more.

I sat beside her and took her hand in mine. She instantly put her head on my shoulder.

"Spencer, I love you. Why wouldn't I want you as my girlfriend?" she shrugged and sniffled. "Some how, I thought that if I distanced myself from you for a little, then it would stop Kelly and Carmen hurting you again."

"They didn't hurt me that much though."

"I can see the bruises through your foundation Spencer and it doesn't sit well with me that she touched you." She turned her head away from me. I put a finger under her chin and made her look at me before I kissed her nose softly.

"I don't care how much they hurt me Ash. I just want to be with you." She pouted and shuffled closer to me.

"I know, I am really sorry baby."

"I might just forgive you if you keep calling me baby." She husked as she climbed on to my lap and kissed my neck slowly.

"Baby," I whispered.

She stopped suddenly and her hands went from my shoulders to her stomach as she groaned in pain.

"Spence?" she fell backwards off of my lap and it sounded like she banged her head pretty hard on the floor. It all happened so fast and I panicked. I didn't know what to do.

I checked if she was conscious and she grumbled a little.

"Stay there I'm going to call 911!" I instructed. On my way downstairs I mentally slapped myself for telling her to stay there. It's not like she was getting up since she's barely conscious.

**I know I leave it on a cliff… I'm not sorry :D**

**Go check out the story I am colabing with Galmil… its amazing!**


	11. Chapter 11

Spencer was rushed to the hospital. The doctor wouldn't tell me what was wrong with her. He wanted to wait until Paula or Arthur was here.

I was sat at Spencer's bedside, clutching her hand when she came to.

"Ash?" she said in a groggily and flinched as she tried to sit up.

I squeezed her hand in mine softly as I brought it up to my lips to kiss it. She turned her head to me and smiled.

"What happened?" she asked.

"We were making out and you just fell on the floor clutching at your stomach." I said sadly. "You were in surgery for about two hours and your parents are going to be here as soon as they can.

Her parents walked in at that moment and I stood up. Paula glared at me and Arthur gave me a warm, welcoming smile. They were closely followed by the doctor who told her parents that only family members are allowed to be present at this time.

I stood up to leave but Spencer's grip on my hand stopped me.

"I want you to stay." She said weakly and pouted slightly.

"Spence, listen to what the doctor says." Paula hissed but Spencer simply looked at the doctor and tilted her head to the side and donned the cutest expression ever.

"Please Doc, my best friend can stay cant she?"

"As long as it's ok with your parents." He said and looked at them. Arthur nodded before his wife had a chance to object.

"Ok, when Spencer came in, she wasn't in the greatest shape. We took her in to surgery and found that she had some internal bleeding from an ulcer that had burst. Were you aware that she has a stomach ulcer?" she shook their heads. "Had you not had any stomach pain Spencer?"

"A little yeah but I just ignored it."

"Well that's what happened. You could have died so if you get any pain in the future, come straight back to A&E." everyone in the room nodded. "What we have done now is put her on a course of medication, including pain killers, so she can recover. We need to keep her in for three days for observation and so that her stitches can heal better before we release her. Mr and Mrs Carlin, we need you to go to the nurse station to sign some paperwork." She nodded silently and followed the doctor out of the room.

I looked at Spencer and she was looking at me timidly.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were getting pain?"

"Because I honestly thought it was nothing. I didn't want to worry you. Do you think it could be a side affect of those pain killers that I took?"

"It could be, but I mean, you haven't taken any in ages have you so I doubt it."

She bowed her head slightly and started playing with her fingers.

"Spence, please tell me that you haven't been taking loads of pills."

"Not since we got together, I promise Ash."

"Spencer." I sighed and sat back in my chair, removing my hand from hers.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, just a little disappointed." I shook my head and pulled out my phone to check the time and that I didn't have any messages. I had a few but they were probably just from Aiden.

"I'm really sorry Ash." she said and tried to reach out to grab my hand but flinched because of the stitching on hr stomach. I got up and led on the bed with her, my arm over her shoulders and her head on my chest. She fell asleep quickly and I sighed contently.

Arthur and Paula walked in but I made a shushing motion with my finger. I know I probably should have moved away from their daughter but they both knew that we were close.

"How is she?" Arthur whispered.

"Exhausted. Do you guys mind if I stay here with her tonight?"

Compassion flickered through Paula's eyes and she said "Sure, as long as you don't make any trouble. When she wakes up, give her our love. See you tomorrow Ashley."

"Take care of her Ash." Arthur said and tapped me on the shoulder. He waited until Paula was out of the room before he said, "And I think you know what I mean. Hurt her and I will snap you like a twig." He said sternly and I just nodded. Did he know?

--

A few hours later Spencer was awake. I told her about her mom and what her dad had said to me and while I was horrified by the whole ordeal, Spencer found it hilarious.

"That's it Spencer, I'm not kissing you at all for the next week. I pouted and folded my arms.

"No Ash! You can't do that." She pouted.

"Want to bet?" I raised an eyebrow at her and unfolded my arms. I was sat at the end of the bed so she couldn't touch me or do anything about my not kissing her.

"Do you want me to die?" she deadpanned and I laughed.

"Spence, don't be so dramatic, you aren't going to die if I don't kiss you."

"I might." She pouted. A nurse walked in to check Spencer's vitals and some other medical stuff I didn't really understand.

"I really do love you Spencer. When you collapsed, I didn't know what to do. I thought you were going to die." I said to her feet.

"I know. I could see it in your eyes. I'm really sorry Ash."

"Don't be Spence. I'll always be here for you."

"Please kiss me." She pouted. I crawled up the bed and straddled her lightly, never putting any pressure on her body. "I really do love you too." She whispered before I captured her lips in a sweet kiss. She tried to pull me down on to her but I wouldn't let her. I didn't want to risk hurting or breaking her stitches.

Her parents came back to visit that night when I went home to grab some proper food and tell my mom what had happened. I took Spencer back a bunch of candy and I went to the gift shop and bought her a cute little teddy holding a love heart. I know it's totally cheesy, but I couldn't resist.

I got back to her room after her parents had left.

"You left me all that time to deal with them! Mum is going to bring Mary from church and her son over to see me when I get home. Yeah apparently Matthew is going out of his mind with worry."

"And what could I have done? Told her we have plans? She would have told me that you needed your rest."

She sighed and beckoned me to sit down next to her.

"I got you some things. Some candy because hospital food tastes like dirty gym socks and this because I thought it would make you smile." I slowly pulled the bear out of the bag and held it in front of my face. I heard her gasp and squeal as she grabbed it out of my hands.

"Awh it's really cute! I'm going to call her Ashley and sleep with her every single night." She said suggestively and I laughed.

--

She flopped back in her bed with a sigh of frustration a few weeks after her stay at hospital.

"Ash, you can't do that to me again." She complained. I put my shirt back in and led across the bottom of her bed.

"Spence, until the doctor gives you the all clear, I am not letting you go further than that."

"So you think it's kinder to me to get me all worked up and then nothing? Come on Ash, you know how much I want you." She complained at me and I just laughed at her.

"You don't think I want you too. Look Spence, just another week or two and then we are all good."

She pouted.

**AN:: I don't like this chapter. **

**Review please :D**

**Also, check out Taking Chances by Galmil and I :D**


	12. Chapter 12

I slumped in my seat at third period, sighing as I did. Spencer was still off of school. Her mom wanted her to stay home until the doctor gave her the all clear which I could totally understand but it was killing me. I spent every single moment I could with her after school though.

Paula didn't like it at first but it seems like she is either putting up with it or accepting that I am her daughter's friend. Maybe now she even likes me?

I slammed my head down on the desk as the teacher went in to another lecture about some revolution or something. I wasn't paying attention. My mind wondered to Spencer and how her tongue felt in my mouth, on my stomach.

My phone vibrated, bringing me back to the classroom with my teachers annoying voice.

**I miss you babe! Can't you skip the rest of the day? Xx**

**Haven't you got a doctors appointment later? Xx**

I went to my pictures and scrolled through them until I came to a picture I took of us at the beach. Spencer was smiling while I was sat behind her. We were laughing and just having a good time. She looked beautiful with the way the setting sun was catching her amazing golden hair.

**Oh yeah. Well come and see me after? We will be done around 4. Xx**

**You know I will Spence. I love you. Xox**

I put my phone away and tried to tune in to what Mr Forges was saying. He is probably the dullest teacher in the world. For example, one day Spencer came in to her lesson, totally hyperactive and bouncing off of the walls. About five minutes in to one of his lectures, she was fast asleep. I thought it was cute. He gave her detention.

I rested my head on my hand and pulled my phone out once more.

**I love you too. So my parents are going out of town this weekend. They said that they wanted you to look after me. Xx**

**Oh, I will ;p What did you have in mind? If you get the all clear of course. Xx**

"You can't function without her can you?" Carmen's voice invaded my ears. I rolled my eyes before shaking my head.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Just a bit." She laughed quietly before she bit her lip. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened in the bathroom. I had a huge fight with Kelly because of it."

"What's done is done."

She let out a sigh of relief, "Good, I'm glad we can put this behind us."

"I never said you were forgiven and this definitely isn't the end of it. For all I know, you and Kelly are the reason that Spencer's ulcer burst. You are the reason she isn't here with me." I said sharply as I glared at her. I turned my attention back to my phone.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Carmen leave the classroom with tears running down her face. There was a time that I would have cared. But that was a long time ago.

**I was going to leave it to you since I am the ill one. *cough* Xx**

**A whole bunch of things come to mind at the moment Spence. I can't wait. Xx**

The bell rang for break and I quickly gathered my things and headed out of the room. I saw Carmen throwing herself all over Aiden. It pissed me off because she has always known that Aiden is off limits to her.

Don't get me wrong, I don't have feelings for him. But he is my best friend and with the stuff we have been through, he's like a brother to me.

I pushed them to the back of my mind as I tried to find a quiet, secluded area of the school so I could set my things down and call my girl.

--

"Do you ever het the feeling that this is how you want things to stay forever?" I sighed, resting my head in her lap while her fingers ran through my hair.

"I do yeah."

"Do you want to stay this way forever? I mean like, with me?" I bit my lip while I waited for her answer.

"I would like nothing more than to be with you forever." She whispered sincerely before she leaned down to kiss my forehead.

I turned over so I was led on my stomach. "What did the doctor say?" I asked nervously. If it was good news, she would have told me already.

"He said that I'm all good except for a little bit of scaring on my stomach from where they had to operate.

"That's great Spence!" I got up to kiss her but she looked kind of sad. "What's wrong?"

"I am going to be deformed." She pouted cutely and I just laughed. "Don't laugh at me Ash. When you see it, I doubt you will want anything to do with me."

I straddled her and pulled her shirt up so I could see her whole stomach.

"All I see is your immensely hot stomach." I kissed the skin just above her belly button and she giggled. I have worked out that she is ticklish there. I saw a small pink line a little to the left of her navel. "Is this what you were so worried about?" I asked, kissing it slowly. She grumbled some response as I licked around the edge of it.

She dragged my mouth from her stomach to her mouth. I groaned quietly as she played with my tongue. She bit my lip before we had to pull apart for air.

"I cannot wait for the weekend." I whispered, resting my forehead against hers. I kissed her again quickly and sat beside her. She rested her head on my chest and played with the hem of my shirt. Someone knocked on the door but she didn't bother to move, she simply told them to come in.

"Hey girls." Paula greeted and came to stand at the end of Spencer's bed.

"Hey Mrs C."

"What's up mom?" Paula's eyes seemed to be fixed on Spencer's hand on my stomach.

"Ash, keep an eye on Spencer this weekend please. I don't want her going out anywhere unless she is going to stay at your place. This means no guys, no partying. The doctor may have given you the all clear but I still want you to take it easy for the next week or so. Is that clear?" she looked over her reading glasses at us both.

"What about girls?" Spencer asked with a quirk of her eyebrow.

"No girls either Spencer." She started to walk out of the room but pause just before she got to the door. "Spencer, are you gay?"

I felt her swallow hard and draw in a deep breath. She nodded slowly before freezing completely as Paula walked towards Spencer's bed and sat down on the edge of it.

"Are you sure?" Spencer nodded again. "Do you have a girlfriend?" she nodded once more. "Are you happy?"

"You have no idea how happy I am."

"Ashley?" she wasn't addressing me. Spencer just nodded again and grabbed my hand. All this time, she hadn't moved her head off my chest.

Paula looked at me and I felt my heart leap in to my throat. She smiled at me before she hugged us both and walked out saying, "Look after my daughter Ashley."

"That was,"

"Weird."

"Yeah." She sighed and snuggled in to me.

"Are you coming to school tomorrow?" I asked.

She shook her head. "There's no point, its Friday tomorrow."

"Ok, well I better get going, since I do have to go to school tomorrow." I stuck my tongue out at her and leaned over to her to kiss her nose.

"Call me later." She instructed as I put my shoes back on.

"Yeah I will. I love you babe." I leaned back over the bed and stole a kiss from her lips, got up and left.

I passed both Mr and Mrs C on my way out. Asked me why I want staying tonight and I simply told them I had homework to do. They told me a few details and emergency numbers for the weekend.

"If I didn't know any better, I would say that you just want me to babysit Spence."

"That was the plan," Arthur laughed, "but since you are dating our daughter, we wont be paying you."

I laughed and said "No big," and left.

Life never stays the same. It is constantly changing. We can either embrace the change or rebel against it.

**AN:: again, not one of my favourites but so, so. **

**PLEASE review, I'm in a ditch and need loads of inspiration to get this story finished :D**


	13. Chapter 13

**NC 17! **

**WARNING! **

**(Not that you want one ;P )**

I pulled up to Spencer's house and fixed my hair for the hundredth time. I was nervous, of course. I had planned something hat I hoped would work out alright. Her parents were leaving as soon as I arrived so the sooner the better I guess.

"Hello Ashley." Paula greeted me coldly as she picked up her keys. Mr C gave me a soft smile as he went in to the living room, I assume to get their bags or get his jacket. "Spencer has a key to the house and although we gave you the list of numbers yesterday, I have pinned another copy on the fridge." I nodded silently. "If anything happens or you are worried about anything, call Arthur on his cell."

She walked out of the house carrying a small bag. Arthur was walking down the hall with two small suitcases. Her put them down just in front of me and handed me some money.

"There is food in the house but just incase you want to order a pizza or something. If Spencer does need to go to her hospital, there is a jar in the cupboard next to the sink with our power outage cash. I am not saying that you will take it, but we know exactly how much is there."

"You don't need to worry Mr C, I have it all under control." He smiled and nodded before kissing my cheek and hugging me, like he would his own daughter, picked up his bags and left.

I watched them drive off down the street and waved as they rounded the corner. Quietly, I walked back to my car and grabbed the back with the dinner I had made for Spencer.

When it was all set up, lights turned out, candles lit and the dinner out on plates, I headed slowly up the stairs towards Spencer's room.

She was led on her stomach, sleeping. Her shirt was riding up over her back, while her ass looked perfect in her girl boxers. I sat softly on the bed beside her. She stirred as I ran my fingers through her soft hair.

"Ash, is that you?"

"Yeah it is. Sorry I woke you." I said quietly, giving her time to adjust to being awake.

"It's ok, I'm sorry I wasn't awake when you got here. Have you been here long?" she turned on to her back and fixed her shirt. I watched as her toned abs disappeared. I tore my attention away and looked at her. She was smirking at me with a glint in her eye. "later." She whispered and sat up

I coughed and answered her question, "A little while but I had some things to do downstairs. I would have just sent you back here anyway." I smiled at her and she laughed.

"What were you doing?" she questioned.

"Come see." I stood up and held my hand out to her. She took it and I squeezed it softly.

I led her down to her living room and heard her gasp when she saw her house lit up with candles. "_Ash!_" she whispered when she saw the meal that I had cooked. She leaned in to me and just looked around the place.

I kissed her forehead, "I wanted tonight to be really special for us, for you."

Spencer was still a virgin. You wouldn't expect it with her looking the way she does, but I am glad that I am the person that she has chosen to give it up to. I feel bad that she isn't my first. If I had known that three years down the line, I would have a girl like Spencer, I would have waited.

"You are so sweet sometimes Ash." she cooed and kissed me slowly and softly. We pulled apart and all I could do was smile at her. I didn't have some witty response because I didn't have to be anyone else with her right now. This moment wasn't about making her laugh and it wasn't about seducing her. It was deeper than that. It was about showing her that I love her, trust her and need her.

We sat on the couch and started eating slowly. Every now and again she would feed me some of her food and I would feed her some of mine. I had cooked each of our favourite dishes. Really spicy chicken curry for her, simple bangers and mash for me.

She leaned in to me and kissed me after we had finished eating, gently pushing me back in to the couch. She deepened the kiss by sliding her tongue in to my mouth. She moaned quietly when I bit down on the muscle.

"I think we should go upstairs now." She breathed, pulling away from me slightly. "You know, so we don't get too carried away down here."

"Ok." I pushed her backwards so that she was led on her back. I pulled her legs around my waist so that I could pick her up. I kissed her hard as I lifted her. I was glad that I worked out so much because it wouldn't have been romantic if I had to put her down halfway up the stairs.

Laying her gently on her bed, I straddled her and took off my shirt. Her hands stroked over my stomach while I kissed her and worked on taking her shirt off. Once I had succeeded, I kissed, nipped and sucked her neck, chest and stomach. She groaned when I dipped my tongue inside her belly button quickly. I smirked up at her before I worked my way back up to her chest.

I kissed the top of her soft breast, groaning silently at the feel of it in my mouth. I undid the clasp at the front. She blushed and squirmed under my gaze as I admired her. "You're beautiful." I whispered on her lips before I kissed her softly, her right breast in my right hand.

I went to move to pay attention to her yearning breasts but she stopped me.

"Ash, I'm scared." She admitted quietly.

"Of what?" I rested myself softly on top of her and she smiled.

"I'm scared that it is going to hurt, I am scared that once we do this, you will leave me. I'm just so in love with you Ash." I kissed her to shut her up. She over thinks things sometimes. It's really cute.

"Spence, I'm not going anywhere, you're stuck with me." I smiled and drew a pattern from her neck to her boobs. "And yeah, the first time probably will hurt a little, but you know that I am here and I will make it all better." I kissed her softly again and when I pulled back, I tilted my head slightly with a smirk, asking if I could continue. She nodded and smiled down at me as I took one of her hard nipple in to my mouth

She closed her eyes and bit her lip as I played with her other nipple between my fingers, my other hand supporting my weight.

I didn't spend too long playing with her. I knew she was nervous and I wanted to see her, hear her, smell her, touch her, and taste her.

I kissed down her stomach until I reached her shaved centre. Slowly, I relieved her of her girl boxers. I ran my fingertips down her thigh and slowly in to her fold. I groaned at her wetness and Spencer jerked her hips when my fingers reached her clit.

With her eyes still closed, she begged me to kiss her but I didn't. I wanted to, don't get me wrong.

While she was complaining that I wasn't kissing her, I eased two fingers in to her which tuned her complaining in to a long drawn out moan as my fingers slid in easily.

"Fuck Spencer, you are so fucking wet and tight." I growled.

She flinched a little as I pulled out, only to cry out in a mixture of pleasure and pain as I thrust back in to her. It was then that I decided to kiss her. It was sloppy and desperate but it was perfect. I kept thrusting in to her in a steady rhythm until I felt her stomach clench impossibly tight on my fingers. My thumb found her clit and rubbed hard as I put another finger inside Spencer and fucked her even harder.

She screamed my name as she let it all go. Her fingers digging in to my back as she held me as close to her as she could. I kissed her chest and smiled as I breather in her scent. While she was coming down from the intenseness of her orgasm, I eased out of her.

She opened her eyes and looked at me as I licked her juices off of my fingers, she groaned. She tasted sweet and I couldn't wait until she let me go down on her but I didn't want to push it on her first time.

"Fuck me that was hot." She panted shakily as she tried to get her breathing under control.

"I think I just did." I winked and she smiled a cute school girl smile. "I didn't hurt you too much did I?"

"Not too much, no. god I love you Ash." she smiled up at me and I kissed her softly.

Our night was filled with passion and love. Spencer was nervous about fucking me but she soon figured out which buttons to press to make me come so hard, I didn't think I would be able to stand again.

**AN:: I had to work through such a block to get this :I**

**Have fun reading and PLEASE review. Chapters like this aren't easy to write :)**

**Thanks for all the reviews on the last one **


	14. Chapter 14

A single finger drew patterns from the swell of my breasts to my inner thigh. With my eyes still closed, I revelled in the feel of her finger. I don't think that I will ever get enough of this. I stretched my arm above my head and leaned my head to the side to look at her.

"I love you." I whispered. She smiled softly. The smile reached her eyes and made them sparkle. She licked her lips before kissing me gently.

"I love you too." Her hand rested on my chest and she just led there looking in to my eyes. I blushed and she laughed. "You are really cute when you blush."

"Shut up Spence." I squirmed and she laughed again. Sometimes I hate that I am so vulnerable and open around her, but I guess it doesn't hurt. I love her after all.

"No, I don't usually get to make you blush. You are really beautiful." I blushed even harder and hid my face under my arm. She tried to pull my arm away but I wouldn't let her. I felt her lips on mine, her teeth biting on my bottom lip. I sighed when she pulled away.

"Lets go downstairs Spence, I am going to make you breakfast." I rolled her over and sat on top of her.

"You don't have to."

"I want to." I leaned down and kissed her slowly.

--

I went ahead to the kitchen because she wanted to shower. She offered for me to join her, but I wanted to make her some breakfast.

"You stole my gown." She said, her damp hair brushing against my ear and her damp body pressing against my back. I could hear the pout in her voice and laughed.

"And you don't have any other clothes?"

"As a matter of fact, no I don't." she kissed my neck before going at sitting at the small table in the Carlin's kitchen. I turned around and saw that all Spencer was wearing was thin red thong. I died on the inside and couldn't stop myself staring at her. "Ash, the eggs." She said as they started to spit everywhere, bringing me out of my thoughts of what I wanted to do to her on the kitchen surface.

I turned back with an exclamation of 'Oh shit!' and took the eggs off of heat and put them on our pancakes. She was laughing at me as I walked towards her and I just glared

"I'm sorry it's nothing more gourmet, but I didn't want to start something that I wouldn't be able to keep up, the same with dinner last night. You know I can't really cook."

"I know. Its cute that you try." She smiled and dug in to her pancakes. We ate in silence, every now and again looking at each other and smiling softly. To say that I'm lucky would be an understatement.

"Did you always know that you were gay?" she asked.

"I just knew that I wasn't attracted to guys. Never found anything about them attractive. I tried to kid myself that I was in love with Aiden a few years ago but you can't really fool your heart."

"So what happened with him?" she asked cautiously, as if she didn't want to hear the answer.

"We dated for a few months and I gave my virginity to him." I said sadly. I saw something flash through her face and eyes but I couldn't tell what it was.

"Oh,"

"I wish I'd waited for you Spence." I admitted shyly.

"You do?"

"Yeah. I would have rather shared that experience with someone that I really do love." I grabbed her hand and she smiled at me. "I am really glad that I am your first."

"I want you to be my forever." She blushed

"Me too."

We shared a long moment of just staring at each other. Sometimes she would entwine out fingers again, others her eyes would flick from my eyes to my lips.

Her hand reached out and snuck under her gown, tracing a line down my collar bone and back up again. She was so confident when she was naked, more so than when she was fully clothed. Her other hand was supporting her head while her eyes still held mine.

I tried to control my breathing and I tried to stop my eyes from fluttering closed but eventually I had to give in. I saw her smirk as my breath quickened ever so slightly and my eyes broke contact with hers.

The removed the hand that was in the gown I was wearing and undid it, her other hand still supporting her head, the smirk still on her face.

She opened it slightly and knelt in front of me. Her mouth latched on to my already hard nipple and she sucked. My head fell backwards as my hands ran through Spencer's hair. One of her hands was working on my other nipple while the other was taking the gown off of me.

Soon we were on the floor and Spencer had three fingers inside of me, thrusting hard and sending me unbearably close to the edge. I groaned her name as she removed all contact but as soon as it was lost, her tongue was inside of me and her fingers were rubbing my clit.

It didn't take much before I grabbed on to her hair and screamed as I came. She groaned as she licked away all of my juices which caused another wave of intense pleasure and I came again.

"Fucking hell Spencer." I breathed shakily. She came up to kiss me and I could taste myself on her lips. I moaned softly in to the kiss as she deepened it, desperate to let go of her pent up energy. She pulled away and I could see that desperation in her eyes.

I turned her over and started kissing her. I wanted to play with her and make her so desperate that she will come so hard; she won't be able to move for five minutes

There was a knock on the door and we scrambled up. She grabbed her gown and rushed to answer the door. I tried to find her thong but couldn't remember which direction I had thrown it so I tried to sneak upstairs.

"No she's not here, I don't know where she could be." Spencer said as I approached the stairs and I hear Carmen's voice answer her.

"Well she isn't picking up her cell. When you see her, can you tell her that I need to talk to her please?"

"Sure," Spencer said in an overly sweet voice.

"Ashley?" I froze for a few seconds but then remembered that I was butt naked and bolted upstairs.

**AN:: so I think this one isn't as good as the last one but I kind of rushed this a little… however. Please review because when loads of people review… the chapters come faster :) its like magic**


	15. Chapter 15

"Was that Ashley? What was she doing here?" I heard the conversation slightly muffled as I made my way back out of Spencer's room with my hoodie and a pair of Spencer's sweat pants.

"You tell me, she was in your house… naked." She said coldly. I joined Spencer at the door, hugging her from behind and kissing her neck before I rested my head on her shoulder.

"What's up Carmen?"

"I wanted to talk to you about what happened on Thursday. I just wanted to say that Kelly and I really aren't talking anymore because of what she did."

"It still doesn't change what happened Carmen. You just stood and let her do it and worst of all, you held me back so I couldn't do anything about it!"

Spencer turned around in my arms and whispered for me to calm down. She kissed my nose and walked in to the kitchen.

"Look Ash, I am really sorry." She looked at the doorframe and sighed, poking it with her key. "I miss being your friend Ash. I can deal with not having you as my girlfriend, but not having you as a friend is killing me."

"I don't care Carmen." I tried to say coldly but I missed her too.

"How can I make it all up to you?"

"I don't know. Maybe you can't." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "You kind of disturbed something which I need to get back to. I don't know, maybe we can talk about this some other time." Hope flashed through her face and it caused me to smile a little.

"Yeah. So I take it you and Spencer finally got together." She asked cautiously. She knew it wasn't any of her business at this moment in time and she didn't really have a place to ask about it but I answered her anyway.

"Yeah, for just over a month now." I nodded and smiled widely. I didn't have control of my face while I was talking about Spencer.

"You two are really good together, you know that right?"

"Yeah I do. I love her to pieces." I saw Carmen swallow hard.

Spencer came and stood beside me and grabbed my hand, slowly pulling me away.

"See you later Carmen." She shouted as the door was slamming closed. We giggled and ran upstairs to her bedroom.

--

Sunday came before we knew it and I couldn't help but feel sad. I loved spending all this time with Spencer and I didn't want to leave her. She was sleeping after several intense orgasms. I smiled at her. I wanted to wake up next to her for the rest of my life. I wanted to grow old with her. I was whipped and I didn't care. She was mine, I was hers and perhaps someday when we are in college, I will ask her to marry me.

She stirred as I got up to put some clothes on.

"Where are you going Ashy?"

"We need to clean the kitchen and the shower and your bedroom before your parents get home in," I checked my watch, "45 minutes!"

She leapt out of bed and threw some clothes on. She told me to clean the kitchen and she would clean the bathroom and get clean linen for her bed.

We finished just as her parents pulled up. I looked at her and laughed and she laughed with me. She pulled me in to her and kissed me softly.

"That was a close one." I sighed as we walked to open the door for her parents.

Her parents came in and dumped their bags, hugged us and went to the kitchen. I handed Mr C his money back and told him that we never ordered pizza so we didn't need his money. He smiled and put it back in to his wallet.

"Did you girls have a good time?" Paula asked. Spencer and I just looked at each other and smiled.

"We did mom, yeah."

There was a short silence while Paula was moving her bags through the hall.

"I better Spence, I have a ton of homework to have done for tomorrow." I smiled and kissed her. She shot me a look that was both begging me to stay and cursing me for leaving. "I'll call you later." I pulled her in to me softly and kissed her quickly.

She laced her hand with mine and sighed when I pulled away from her. I walked down the hall, her hand trying to pull me back but she let me go as I reached the door.

"I love you." She said loudly with a cute grin on her face.

I smiled back at her as I opened the door and said "I love you too."

As I walked down the small stretch of cement leading away from the Carlin's home and to my car, I heard the front door open and close again. I expected to hear Spencer's voice calling me back to her but I was shocked by who it was.

"Ashley?"

"Yeah Mrs C?"

"Would you please tutor Spencer in the lessons that she has missed? Now, I appreciate that you two aren't in the same classes for everything, but if you wouldn't mind getting the work from her teacher."

"I'd be more than happy to tutor her."

"I won't be paying you of course." She stated and I laughed inside.

"I don't expect you to Mrs C."

"Your payment will be acceptance as a large part of her life and ignorance to what you two have no doubt been doing all weekend." She glared slightly at me and I could feel my cheeks turning pink.

"I'm sure I don't know what you are talking about."

She smiled lightly and walked back in to the house. I got in my car and drove home.

--

My phone rang as soon as I walked in the door. I smiled when I saw it was Spencer.

"Should I call the police and report a stalker?"

"_I don't know, would a sexy police woman come and take me away?"_

"Maybe, if you are really bad."

"_What are you wearing?"_ she husked and it sent a shiver through my body.

"What I was wearing when I left you." I laughed.

"_Come on Ash! Have a little imagination!"_

"Spence, I'm not doing this with you on the phone right now."

"_Aww, why not?"_ I could hear her pout and it made me smile. She would look so cute right now.

"Because we only had sex for the first time a few days ago and I just don't feel comfortable."

"_Ok baby, I get that. So can you come over?"_

"Spence! You are impossible!" I sighed as I threw myself on my bed.

"_That's why you love me babe. I have to go, see you at school tomorrow."_

"I love you, bye."

"_I love you too."_

She hung up and I was back to being lonely again. I figured I had better get on with that homework that I had to do. It would probably take me the best part of the night anyway.

**AN!! Ok guys, I know where this is going to end. It isn't going to be a happy ending… sorry but I really want to write this ending :) don't hate me (A)**

**So review and I will have a new update to you by Wednesday :)**


	16. Chapter 16

Summer was approaching fast and Spencer and I had hardly spent a moment apart. I don't think her mother was very happy about the amount of time we were together, but she did a good job of hiding it. I could live with Paula's frosty attitude, for now.

Spencer kept having to have time off of school because her stomach ulcer kept either rupturing or severe pain in her stomach. It was definitely a rollercoaster of emotions but I wouldn't trade one part.

"I'm sorry." She said. Her head on my chest, her fingers stretched out in my stomach.

"For what Spence?" I lifted up her hand and looked at the hole where a drip had been attached so many times. It saddened me that she has had such a hard time.

"For the last few months and for putting you through such a shitty time just because of my stupidity."

"Spence, you aren't stupid, and you don't need to be sorry. I love you and I am always going to be here for you."

"I love you too Ash, but I can't ask you to be here for me when being there for me means that I am screwing up your life." She said sadly, rolling on to her back and looking up at the stars.

"Where's all this coming from Spence?"

"I see the look in your eyes and I feel the way you touch me. You're eyes are tired and your touch is scared as if you are going to break me."

"I'm not scared or tired Spencer." I turned on to my side to face her.

"You are Ashley and its ok." she sat up and looked at me. "We had fun Ash." her eyes started tearing up and I grabbed her and pulled her in to me.

"Don't you dare Spencer."

"What?" she sobbed in to my chest as I rocked her backwards and forwards.

"Get scared and break up with me. I am in this for the long run Spence. If I couldn't be with you through this then I wouldn't be."

"But it isn't fair on you Ash."

"Life isn't fair Spence. This is one of those little things we have to deal with on the way to happiness."

"I love you so much Ashley. I would die if you ever left me." Her body shook with her sobbing. I rubbed her arm and felt that she was cold. I took my jacket off and draped it over her. She relaxed instantly and her crying eased up a little.

"I love you too Spencer. Don't ever think that I don't." I said softly in to her ear and held her until she fell asleep. I don't blame her for breaking down. It hasn't been easy on her and it wouldn't shock me if Paula has been trying to poison her against me. I mean, she acts as if she is fine with us being together, but the way she looks at me and the way she says my name tells me a totally different story.

--

I dropped Spencer off at home. She hadn't woken up from when we were sat out under the stars. The medication that she is on at the moment makes sure that when she falls asleep, she is out for the count. The doctor said that it was so her body has a fighting chance of repairing itself. Arthur was the only one in when I took her in.

I carried her in to her room and placed her softly on her bed and kissed her forehead before I left her. Arthur thanked me for looking after her and bringing her home safely and hugged me. He always made me feel like I was no different than if I were Spencer's boyfriend and I was glad of that. He even gave me a few of the 'you hurt my daughter, I cut your boobs off' talks.

I sat on my bed with a sigh. Sometimes I feel like I a fighting a loosing battle with her. Some days she is all over me and others she is distant and pushing me away. I know she is scared and I would be too if I was her.

I put my headphones in to my ear and picked '_Break Your Little Heart' _by All Time Low, turned the volume to full and flung myself back against my pillows.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I thought about ignoring it but then it could be Spencer. So I got it out of my pocket and opened the text, _America's Sweetheart_ by Fall Out Boy starting in my ears.

**Hey, do you wanna hang out? Carm.**

I was about to say no but I figured it would take my mind off of Spencer's recent behaviour.

**Sure. Pick me up in 5, we will hang at the pier.**

The pier always used to be mine and Carmen's favourite place to be, especially when the sun was setting and with it being 8pm in the summer, it was almost that time.

--

"You seem tense Ash, what's up?" she asked cautiously, slurping on her coke.

"I'm just totally stressing out over this whole thing with Spencer. She's either in hospital or doped up on drugs out of hospital and if she isn't doped up on drugs then she is trying to push me away by telling me that she is more trouble then she's worth." I sighed and looked at the seagulls that were flying across the horizon. "She's worth more than she thinks she is."

"Well maybe you need to show her that?"

"I show her that all the time. Don't get me wrong, when she's herself, I almost forget everything and we are amazing, but she almost ended it tonight because she is scared that I am going to leave her."

"Would you?"

I glared at her for a few seconds before I walked away from her without saying another word.

How could she even THINK that I would leave her!

"Ash wait, I'm sorry."

I sighed and turned around, running my fingers through my hair. I caught Carmen staring at the bare skin of my stomach that was showing because my arm was raised.

"Do you really think that now is the time to be checking me out Carmen?" she shook her head. "Look, my mom is dragging me away to Italy for a month in the summer and my dad is away touring with his band. Will you look after Spencer while I'm away please?"

"Sure, that won't be a problem."

"No Kelly." I said sharply. I couldn't think of anyway to get back at her that wouldn't get me expelled and it really pissed me off.

"I told you, I'm not talking to Kelly anymore. She went too far that day in the bathroom. I know I didn't exactly help but I was shocked. It was like some weird out of body experience."

We spent the rest of the evening just catching up. She got me up to date on the latest gossip from school since my social life had basically been demolished since Spencer got ill. It was fun. It was like things were before. When we hadn't been forced to grow up.

**AN!! Reviews get me to update faster… see… it works :) **


	17. Let The Rain Fall Down by Hilary Duff

"You don't have to go Ash," she said cutely as we were stood in the airport, waiting for our plane to board. My mother was busy flirting with one of the rich looking businessmen. "You could stay with me." She husked in to my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"Spence, you know that I don't have a choice." I pouted and pulled her even closer to me, burying my head in her neck. I breathed in the smell that is Spencer.

"You do. You can tell your mom to get fucked." I laughed at her.

"I can't do that Spence. Three weeks isn't that long. I am going to call you every day or something." I kissed at her neck, compelled by her hands on my ass.

"You better do. I might just have to die if you don't."

"How about we don't joke about things like that?" I smiled softly and looked in to her eyes, kissing her nose when she nodded.

"Ashley, dear, do you have to be so open." My mother's snooty voice rang through my ears. I sighed and took a small step back from Spencer but I made sure to leave my arm around her waist.

"Sorry Mrs Davies, I didn't realise you were against your daughters relationship with me." Spence said sincerely in the voice that she only used on adults. It was kind and full of respect and it always made my heart beat that little bit faster with each syllable.

Mom kind of grunted some sort of disapproval before she walked away, her phone attached to her ear.

"I better go baby. Mom will go mad if I'm late for dinner."

"Aww ok, I will text you just before we board and as soon as we get off the plane." She smiled widely and nodded silently, her eyes travelling between my eyes and my lips.

"I love you." She said quietly and stepped in to me, fixing the collars on my polo shirt.

"I love you more." I said and ran my finger down her cheek. I connected my lips with hers in a long, slow, passionate kiss. I don't know how I will survive for three weeks without her lips against mine.

-

After leaving Spencer, I joined my mom on the other side of the waiting room. The end of her conversation caught my attention.

"_Yes I agree, it is in our best interest to keep them apart. That's great. Goodbye."_

"Who are you trying to keep apart?" I asked, trying to make some conversation with my mother.

"Oh, just some clients at work." She coughed and walked away. I shrugged and thought nothing more of it, taking a seat next to Christine.

-

**Spencer**

I pulled in to the driveway of my house. I took a moment to gather my thoughts. The next three weeks were going to be tough. Ashley is my rock. I can't live without her. Every moment that she is away from me, I feel like I die a little inside.

Maybe I will fly out to Ohio to see grandma. I guess that will give me something to do. But it would also mean hiding who I am. So maybe that was out of the picture.

Someone knocked on my car window and I was surprised when I looked up to see that it was Carmen. I got out of my car and went to sit with her on the grass.

"Hey Carmen, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go catch a movie tomorrow night." She asked timidly. It shocked me that she wanted to spend time with me since I am with the girl she loves.

"Sure, why not. I could do with something to take my mind off myself." We both laughed for a moment before we were surrounded by a silence that was neither awkward, nor comfortable.

"Well I better go, Aiden will be wondering where I am." She went to get up.

"Aiden?"

"Yeah, we are hanging out tonight and I blew him off last night so,"

"You know Aiden is off limits? Well he is if you care about Ashley at all." I said defensively.

"Spence, calm down. I know. But there's nothing stopping me being friends with him." I let out a sigh of relief. Maybe Ashley wasn't the only victim in this whole ordeal.

--

**Ashley**

Italy was nothing but hot. Over the time that we were there, mom tried to set me up with 19 different guys. I couldn't believe her! Don't get me wrong, they were cute and Italian but she knows that I have a girlfriend. Maybe if I didn't I would have enjoyed this holiday a little more. And by that I mean that I would have gone out and gotten wasted most nights and I wouldn't have thought twice about waking up in a strange, foreign bed.

But I do have a girlfriend whose heart I hold in the palm of my hands, just like she holds mine.

My whole being is aching to see her again. Everywhere I look reminds me of her. Sure we have spoken on the phone most days, but that isn't enough. I need to see her and feel her.

"Hey babe!" I greeted excitedly. "I get to see you in less than a day."

"_I know, I can't wait to touch you again. You don't know how many things I have thought about doing to you in these last few weeks."_

"Spence, don't get me all horny before the plane ride." I said quietly but still earned myself a few odd looks from my mother who had just walked past me and an elderly couple wearing Hawaiian shirts and shorts. Gross. Some things just shouldn't happen.

"_But I'm horny now and I need you."_ She husked and just her telling me that she needs me sent a shiver down my back. _"Hey Ash, my mom and Carmen have been acting really suspicious. I mean I loved those surprises that you left me through the weeks but this is just beyond suspicious. Tell me you haven't planned anything else?"_

I had gotten Carmen to give her various packages during the weeks. They had things like cute little teddy bears, pictures of me and her and some songs I had written for her. She always told me on the phone how much she loved how I had thought of ways to keep her thinking about me.

"I haven't, I promise. Just me in something I think you will enjoy tomorrow night." They called the plane to board as she laughed at my plans. "Shit, look Spence, I got to go, the plane is boarding. I will see you tomorrow."

"_Ok babes, I love you forever."_

"I love you too, forever and ever." She made a kissing noise before I hung up. I smiled as I followed my mother to our seat and buckled up.

--

Ashley pulled up to the Carlin's house like she had done countless times before. She was unbelievably excited to see her girlfriend again. She never ever wanted to let her go ever.

She never thought that she would fall in love, especially not with somebody like Spencer. Ashley thought that love was an amazing feeling to have and she wanted to nurture it so that it could grow even more if possible. She could definitely see herself living out her days with her blonde haired beauty.

After deciding that her hair looked perfect and that she looked drop dead gorgeous, she got out of her car, locked it and made her way to the house. She was finding it hard not to burst through the door and kidnap Spencer but instead she wanted to play it cool. Although the blonde saw Ashley for who she really is, Ashley didn't want Spencer to know just how much the last three weeks had gotten to her. She had to stay strong.

Ashley knew that she was being dramatic in her thoughts, of course, but she knew that that is one of the things that Spencer loves about her.

She knocked on the door and waited for someone to answer it. It was when she didn't hear Spencer charge down the stairs that she knew something was up. She looked over to the driveway and saw Spencer's car wasn't there.

Paula answered the door with some weird expression on her face. Ashley couldn't quite understand it. For a moment it was one of disgust but then it changed to one of pity and then quickly to one of sadness.

"Ashley." She breathed. "I think you need to come in and sit down." There was some coldness in her voice that just confused Ashley further.

"What's wrong Mrs. C? Where's Spencer?" too many scenarios were going through Ashley's mind. She thought the worse so that anything better was a huge bonus. She thought that Spencer had been admitted in to the hospital again and this time things were a little more serious.

"Spencer was in a car accident yesterday evening. Her car went off of the bridge and in to the water. With the accident report and the autopsy, Spencer was dead before she hit the water. Her stomach ulcer ruptured badly and it tore a hole in the wall of her stomach. I am sorry Ashley." Paula managed to say all of this without any emotion in her voice.

Ashley sat for a moment, soaking in the information she had just been fed, wondering if this was just some sick dream and that she was still on the plane on the way back to her baby.

"Are, are you sure?" Paula nodded once. "Can we see her?"

"I am afraid we can't. It is against our religion." Ashley gave her a strange look.

What religion stops you seeing a loved ones body once they had died?

Then it hit her.

Spencer was dead.

She felt like her heart had been ripped out. Spencer was gone. She wasn't ever going to see her or touch her again. She wouldn't hear that hear warming laugh or see that earth shattering smile.

How would she live without Spencer? Why did this happen? They were so happy together and it was just snatched away.

Ashley couldn't believe that she was talking to Spencer a few hours before she died. Had she felt ill then and not said something? Maybe if she hadn't have gone away she would still be alive?

She blamed herself.

Ashley broke down. She didn't care that Paula was there and that she looked weak in front of the woman that she always had to be strong in front of. She let out a shriek that was full of pain, anger and sadness.

Paula watched the young teenager break. She felt no remorse for giving her the news and being the cause of this pain, at first. It was Ashley's cries for her lost loved one that made Paula think that maybe she had made a mistake. Maybe Ashley really did care for her daughter more than she thought was possible for a girl.

She quickly removed these thoughts from her head and handed some tissues to Ashley but Ashley was shaking too much to take them.

With the small bit of humanity she had, Paula offered Ashley to go and rest in Spencer's room because she was in no state to drive home. However, Paula knew this could be torture for the mourning brunette.

Ashley found it terribly bittersweet to have Spencer surrounding her as she fell asleep, yet she couldn't have her near her again. Her heart was lying, shattered, on the Carlin's living room floor. Spencer's older brothers Glenn and Clay came to check that Ashley was ok before she finally calmed down enough to drift in to some kind of sleep.

She hoped she would dream of Spencer so she could be with her.

Maybe god would be merciful and take her in her sleep.

**OK! that is the end! I hope you guys enjoyed it. I enjoyed writing it :)**

**I will work on a sequel if I get enough review for this chapter :D**

**And to Galmil, I'm sorry I forgot to send you the review :(**


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